Considerations For The Birth Mother
There has been an interesting societal movement going on recently in terms of adoption. Many movie stars made the practice popular with the adoption of children from foreign countries. Now there are movies being produced featuring adoption and as a result, information is gathered from these sources instead of from places that deal with the realities of the process.
There Are No Guarantees Of The Future
When a woman is considering adoption for her unborn child, there are a number of things that are very important to know and think about. If an agency is involved, then it is in their (the agency's) interest to assure the birth mother that the child will enjoy a far better life in a family with two parents and the prospect of financial security. The untold information is that people get divorced, laid-off from their jobs and their lives can be turned upside down. There is no guarantee of any such security-nor is there any guarantee that the "new family" will give more love than the birth mother.
Things They Don't Tell You
If a woman is very young, she may be feeling pressure from parents and adoption workers. She may be told that the adoption is a good thing. She's young, she can get on with her life, finish school, get established in a career and the baby will be forever grateful. While there is an aspect of truth to all of this, what is left unsaid is the emotional impact of the separation of mother and baby. She will never forget her child and to carry on with life as though a birth had never happened is not realistic. She'll need a lot of help to deal with the grief and guilt as well as the profound sense of loss. She'll need to mourn for her child.
Adoption Should Be About Placing Children In Need
Today, it seems the job of an adoption agency is to place children into families who want to adopt. Often, in these situations, the couple is infertile, a very difficult and painful reality for many couples. Adoption should be about placing children in need into loving families rather than finding children for people who want them. Adoption is not like going to the humane society and finding a puppy. Often women are encouraged to help infertile couples to have a family at the expense of both their child's and their own future happiness. The emotional and mental impact can be devastating.
There Are Many Legal Considerations As Well
Along with the above considerations, there are many legal issues that are often left unexplained. Laws are different in every state and signing a consent is not mandatory. Giving a child to another family to rear is a decision that goes beyond what many people can comprehend. It is far easier to talk about it than to walk it out. It is imperative that the birth mother have the support and help to fulfill whatever decision she comes to regarding the unborn baby. It is equally important that she have the conviction in her heart of what she's doing rather than feeling forced or pressured into the decision.
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