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Hi ladies, I am not sure if it is hormonal or what but i am in quite a funk. I feel like I have a dark cloud in my brain and the sun is shining.
It was my birthday yesterday and I all I could do was cry. I wanted to go treat myself to a new outfit but there was no way I could have managed that. My age doesnt bother me, it is not having a baby by my age that bothers me. I would have never thought that I would not have a baby and be 44 years old. Then it dawned on me that I was to have a baby in June. I would be 7 months pregnant if I had not m/c. The magnitude of that hit me like a rock. I cant call anyone because I would hear the same things. Dont worry it will happen. Stop trying and just enjoy your life. Everything is meant to be. You dont get pregnant for a reason. I wish also that I could give my infertility to someone else to deal with.
Someone asked me if I should just adopt. I told her it wasnt any less expensive and no guarantee we would get a child. I think they see the celebs and think it is a quick process. I am trying to not feel sorry for myself but my mind had no light in it. I have not been this sad for years.
Thanks for letting me vent. Im off to sign papers for my new job. Take care all.
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