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Shitty Dream
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jiffys76
 November 23rd, 2007 7:58 AMReport

OK so I survived Thanksgiving at my in-laws with my husbands cousin pg without being too overwelmed.

But now I have just had the shittist dream. I am standing in a room full of pg women some are family, some are strangers. They are all talking "momie talk" and pg talk. I am trying SOO hard to keep my mouth shut. But then it all comes out of my mouth like direaha. I start screaming - I would love to have morning sickness, I'm not going to be able to ever feel my kid kick, I would love to get fat, I am not going to know what it is like to breast feed!!!! I am screming this at the top of my lungs. Then they all look at me and tell me that I am over reacting. I scream that it is BULL SHIT!!!!

Then I wake up. Ok yesterday did really really really suck. It took lots of wine and avoiding the pg cousin toget through it.

Thanks for letting me vent,
Jeep-n Jenny

kathyadam
 November 27th, 2007 3:53 AMReport

Holidays with PG relatives can be really hard.

I am sorry that you had to go through that!

I am always amazed how people can be so clueless and mean about infertility! I have actually had ppl with kids tell me stuff like, "you should be glad you don't have any kids, they are monsters" my husband and I have been at this for 6 years and remortgaged our house twice!!! Do they really think that I should be GLAD!!

Our worst insensitivity was this summer. Some of my husbands college buddies got together for a party and two couples were pregnant and didn't even tell us! They didn't want to "hurt our feelings"! Screw the pity party!! We were pretty hurt being left out! Needless to say, I haven't spoken to them since.

I hope your husband's family is being supportive.


jiffys76
 November 27th, 2007 6:41 PMReport

Thanks - You guys so are amazing. No one else really understands what I am going through. My in-laws really are supportive as much as they can be. I get my results back from my anti-mullerium hormone test on Monday. If it does not turn out good I think this is going to be the stopping point for us and we are going to look into adoption.


nosoupforyou2002
 December 16th, 2008 2:13 PMReport

I totally understand everything you are saying. My husband and I have been trying for three years and have had endless Clomid cycles and two IVF cycles. We decided to adopt but I'm still in my "mourning" period. It doesn't make it any easier that my brother-in-law had an affair, got his "girlfriend" pregnant and they just had the baby. He's still married but living with his mistress and their new baby and everyone is over the moon for them! What a bunch of crap! I can't even speak to my parents-in-law without them telling me what a great baby she is. It's ridiculous!
I have had so many dreams though about my IVF cycles and having my ultrasounds and having to look at my empty uterus and then all of my pg friends being there and me having to stay there and watch their ultrasounds. It's horrible, I know. It's hard to stop being angry. It has taken me a lot of Zoloft to help lol! And I do believe the trick is to avoid pg people. It's hard, but you have to do what is best for you and I had to learn that the hard way. I don't care what people think anymore, if I don't want to be around a pg person or a newborn, then I wont. Good luck!