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Dear Teri-chan,
We are just starting a donar egg cycle. I am a bit worred that our donar is 30 years old. She is a first time donar but she has two children. We had a long wait finding a donar because of my physical chacteristics.
laura

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Laura,

I don't think I'd be particularly worried about the fact that your donor is 30. That's still very young as far as reproductive abilities go. And she has children, so that should offer you a good deal of reassurance.

How long did you wait to find this donor?

I'll probably be waiting for about 4 months for another donor. Because of my nearly unheard of bad experience with my donor cycle, my clinic wants to match me with someone who does very well during the current round of donor cycles, to keep the anxiety down a bit. Somewher out there my donor is probably in a cycle now, then they'll ask her if she'll do a second cycle (for me), after resting for 6-8 weeks.

Please let me know how things are going in your cycle. Most donor cycles go so well. And that should leave you feeling very hopeful going into this. Of course there are never any guarantees, but your chances are good. I wish you the very best of luck with this.

Teri

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Dear Teri,
We waited 7 months for our Donor. We decided to go with a local donor that was found at our clinic. I thought this would be easier for the Donar sence they might not have the support I do with all the meds. This made the search take longer as well as the characteristics we were looking for. Tomarrow I have my starting ultrasound and start Luepron If everything is OK.
Lets keep in touch,
laura.

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Laura,

I'm so glad you wrote. I really feel that it helps to be able to talk with someone in a similar situation. Please keep me posted on your progress! I look forward to hearing how your visit goes tomorrow. What will they look for on the u/s? Will they also be doing bloodwork?

Teri

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Dear Teri,
My ultrasound went great. They look for small or absent folicals. I have been of BC pills for 30 days to syncrinize our(me and the donar) cycles. They will not do blood work untill 8/6 (E2V level and U/S). I stop the BC pills on 8/25. I start lupron at 20 untils today and for the next 10 days, then the decrease this th 10 untits for 14 mor days. I start E2V injections on 8/8 and continue untill we find out if this worked. Progesteron injections start right befor my doars retrvel and continue untill...Is this simmiller to your last time?
laura

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Laura,

It sounds like our protocols were similar, but still pretty different. They never had me on BCPs. The donor was on them and so they just syncrhonized her cycle with mine. Two things really strike me about your protocol. One is that you stay on BCPs all the way through 8/25/06. The other is that you take an injectable form of estrogen. (I assume that's what you meant by 'E2V injections'. What's the 'V' for in 'E2V', do you know?) I didn't know there was such a thing. My protocol had me on estrogen patches and an estrdiol tablet inserted like a vaginal suppository. One of my worries is that on my donor cycle my uterine lining measured only 7mm (and it should be between 8mm and 13mm from what I understand). I wonder if injectable estrogen might be an option I should find out about.

You didn't say the tentative date of the donor's retrieval. Do you know it yet?

It's really nice to communicate with someone else who is going the donor route. I understand from your other posts that you feel you have the funds to try it exactly once. I too feel a lot of financial pressure. I think we can afford one donor cycle in addition to the one that our clinic is giving us to make up for the badly failed cycle. We don't have coverage for IVF in any form--whether with my eggs or a donor's eggs. If I can be of any help, please let me know. I really wish you the very best with this.

Teri

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Dear teri,
E2V stands for estradiol valerate under the brand name delestrogen. I start injections on 8/1 (mistated in my last post) at .28mls. They give these injections every 3rd day and the check the estradiol level on 8/6 as well as an ultrasound on 8/6. Then the dose is ajusted as needed. My donar's retrieval is hopfully 8/14-8/16. They usually do day 3 transfers and freeze blasts. However, we have agreed that if there are at least three 8 cell on day 3, we will try to do a blast transfer. This is our last try. I am gardedly optimistic. I know anything can happen during stimmutation. We were lucky with the 4 IVF cycles financialy. My insurance coverd all but 10,000 $. They do not cover donar anything. This cycle costs 11,300 but this dose not include medical screening for recipients, recipiient medications, semen analysis & freeze, ICSI, embryo cryopreservation, annual storage fee, confirmation of pregnancy, treatment associatted w/ hyper-stimulation an frozen embryo transfer.
How easy was is to get your donar's stimualtion protical from your center?
Is is great comunicating with someone doning the same thing! thank you!
laura

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Laura,

Great to hear from you! Since we seem to be in a one-on-one conversation, I wonder how you'd feel about turning this into an email conversation instead?

Teri

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Dear Teri,
That would be great! My email is arcadiavet@aol.com.
laura

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Hi Teri-Chan= Sorry to answer you so late in the game. I have had 2 different donors. The first looked nothing like me was 30 years old and gave me only 8 eggs and only was good. My next donor was 24 and gave me 19 eggs . ( She looks alot like my family) I think both pregnancies would have made it had they found out about my septum then. The thing with donors is that they might look like you but no guarantee that the kids will take their characteristics- considering their gene pool. I adopted my first child and I am not to worried about how they look actually - it was more for my husband. If i had a donor I would get one in her early 20's. One that has had kids before. Than you know it a good chance of being a good one. Mine had even donated before and that always helps.
Take care and ask away. I dont mind.

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Hi all. I could't help barging in. Reading your stories brought tears into my eyes. I wasn't in your situation, I didn't need a donor, but I can feel your pain and anxiety.
The only thing I can do is to send your way tons of baby dust and wish you good luck.
Fiso

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Teri and Laura

I'm just starting the process of IVF with DE. DH and I have had 3 m/c in 3 years, I never make it past the first six weeks, I've never seen a heart beat. I have a daughter 22 years old from my first marriage but DH has no biological children of his own. We desperately want a baby. We looked into adoption, went as far as scheduling a home study but had to be honest that it wasnt for us. We have heard so many great statistics for donor eggs and my Re says I'm a good candidate as I'm healthy in all other aspects except my degenerated eggs! (I turned 41 in May, my FSH at last check was 8 but I've been told that means quantity not quality so I have a lot of eggs and a lot of them are cooked).

As far as a donor, I have a question, if you dont mind me butting in. Why does it take so long to get a donor? Is there a shortage or does that have to do with your unique physical characteristics? I cant imagine it would be difficult to "match me" as I think I'm pretty ordinary. Dh and I kind of look alike so that will help.

Thanks for listening

SharonAnne

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SharonAnne,

I think the exact waiting time varies a lot from program to program and case to case, but I'm also under the impression that four to six months is pretty standard.

I think Laura had very special characteristics to match. Mine were so hard to match that we finally went with a sperm donor who matches me (just on ethnicity alone, even when not trying for an exact match, but just for someone with my "unusual" half, there were only five donors at California Cryobank and none at Fairfax during the period of time when I was actively looking). My husband's a little easier to match, especially given the makeup of the population where we live, and it took only three months to find an egg donor who matched him.

Teri

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Dear SharonAnne,
It took 7 months to find my donor. I am tall. My husband is tall. We needed some one tall. The rest was easy. I never though the tallness would be so difficult to find.
Laura

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I know its more expensive for California but in LA they have alot of donor agencies. I never had to wait on anything but my period when using a donor. Baby dust to all.

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There's a woman who posts here from time to time as "laura" who has undergone a donor cycle at NCCRM. From what I remember, their prices were very reasonable as these things go--on the order of $10K for a single recipient cycle. The clinic I used charged $20K for a single recipient cycle and $12K for a double recipient cycle. Donors at my clinic receive $3K of the fee. Everything else is for meds, lab, and professional services.

At this point in technological development, there's really no such thing as EGGS that people get from a donor that the recipeint does not use. That's because insemination is attempted on all the eggs that are retrieved. Sometimes there are "leftover" EMBRYOS that people donate free of charge to others, but that doesn't really help in your situation, since you want your husband to be involved genetically.

I don't know anything about clinics in other countries, except that I've heard that the costs are significantly lower in some cases.

I'm sorry for your despair. This is a good forum for finding others who have first hand experience with it. I also found age-related infertility financially draining. I spent a total of about $35K to get to this point (which is between 16 and 17 weeks pregnant with a fetus that is the product of donor egg and donor sperm). That's about half our gross income for a year. My insurance covered nothing.

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Laura, I am curious.... it's been several months.... how has your donor cycle gone? Well, I hope? (We're going to go this option if my bw next Wed. shows low HcG levels, which I know will mean misscarriage again.)
Love to hear your success story with DE!

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HI ZoeCalifornia - I am in California also - North of LA about 40 miles. My last pg started with a 9.9 HCG and I am now 6 months pg. As long as it doubles you just never know. I will be praying for you today. Darcie

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Oh my gosh!! That's terrific that that happened! 9.9 I would have said, "Pfft. No way." I mean, mine was 41 and the nurses already did the "touch on the arm" thing where they were already sorry. Hm. Well, I'm 43, I don't know how old you are, but we really, REALLY are playing the lottery with my eggs. Oh, well. Blood work done, now just sitting and waiting for that 3:00 pm call. My heart is set on donor eggs, and I have found at least 3-4 donors whom I'd just love to get, so I'm (telling myself) I'm fine with whatever the results are. :-\

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Hey, 445. Well, I had gotten my first HcG of 129, which doctors said was great, and one week later (which was yesterday) turns out it never grew. So, chemical pregnancy again and now, onto donor eggs! I posted the below under another topic, but I would love to hear from anyone following this thread, as well, so I'll paste here. THanks for all your well-wishes!
__________
Good news is, I'm on to donor eggs and THROUGH with worrying about every little freakin' step of the way with my own eggs! Man, that's annoying! If we make it through one hurdle, there are 20 more down the road. It's the same result if you can't make it through the first hurdle as it is if you can't make hurdle 34, so it just feels like a big waste of time, worry, patience, and money. Ugh. HUGE relief. It's a strange feeling! I want to be like the two mothers across the street from me: they both decided to have a second child each roughly around the same time last spring (we were all at a barbeque) and then in about 2 weeks, each of them had taken a home preg. test and each were positive. They both said, "It took only one try, go figure," like it was no big deal. They are both in mid-30s. If they only knew HOW BIG A DEAL that is!! And... to announce you're pregnant at the first sight of a pink line!!! CAn you imagine the comfort? The confidence? We weren't even going to announce anything until we were like 6 months pregnant due to the possibility of Down's Syndrome! Ugh!

Okay, I'm off my rant and feeling so energetic now, and love looking over donors.

So, I'm ready to "take on" any and all advice about the donor egg process. Any tidbits you've learned that you wish you knew when you started? I'm a research freak and am on the Internet like 24-7, so I'm already doing and have done lots of homework.

Only down side is DH is sad that the baby won't be a "Zoe Baby" he says. He really wanted my genes. He said if there was any way for us to use my eggs and donated sperm, he'd totally go for that route instead. Awww!

Smiles and hugs to all who went through no luck with their own eggs! I'm ready to move onward and upward to better things!

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Zoe - I am 46 as of this week. I had to use donor eggs at the age of due to no eggs produced by my ovaries. It is a relief to use donor and not have to worry about how are eggs are doing, will there be enough, will they be viable etc. Its sad the babies wont have our genes but when you carry them for 9 months they are definitly yours. Baby dust to you

Sorry about the chemical pg= I had 2 of them.

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Hi Everyone,

445 are you close to delivery?
Teresa are you 30 weeks yet?
I am so exited for you both!!
Zoe I hope things go well for your donar cycle!

Well my donar FET was BFN. I have lost fath in my doctors at NCCRM. I feel like they don't like me asking questions; they would like me to do as I am told, pay the $$. I am toying with the idea of saving up and trying one more time at a center that I trust. Any thoughts ?
Laura

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Hi Laura,
I am soooo sorry about the BFN. So sad. After all us infertiles have been through.... it's so not fair.

What part of the country are you? We are traveling from Chicago to Denver to do our DE cycle. CCRM has the best rep in the country. 40% of their patients are from out of state. We went for our workup in January and are on the list for an anonymous donor. They have a really efficient program and it was a really good experience for us.

They have a wonderful program and my donor nurse that is assigned to me is AMAZING! I got connected with the center because I met 2 women that had done a couple of rounds of DE in the Chicago area without a pregnancy. They went to CCRM and both women had twins on the first try!

I have a lot of hope that this is going to work for me. My doctor in Chicago was not as good as I thought he was.... I put a lot of trust in him and found out I should not have trusted him so much. My new doctor is finding things that the other doc never thought to test for. The Chicago doc even removed part of one of my ovaries during my fibroid removal surgery and never told me. How do you like that? >:(

Well.... check it out for yourself... not to be pushy :)

www.colocrm.com

Laura

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That sucks, Laura! As far as what to do? My hubby and I really "can't afford" to do this $30K donor cycle, but we asked ourselves, if we quit now, will we be happy with ourselves? If we smashed one of our cars, we'd have to fork out about that much... so we consider this an emergency and just "make it work." (Besides, doesn't money grow on trees?!) Anyway, the money part sucks, but we believe it's worth every penny.

I can't wait to hear from 445... probably she's too busy for a forum now! :)

As for me, I had to wait about 2 months for AF to come! Ack! I must have had an ectopic because they could never find the sac but yet HcG kept rising! It was almost the day to take methodrexate (nasty drug) to induce misscarriage and then *boom* AF came the next day. Whew! When you take Methodextrate, you have to wait 3 more months to wait till it gets out of your system. (They give it to cancer patients: it stops any cells that are doubling from doubling.) Ugh!! No more waiting!! So, now we've been matched with our donor and we're lining up our cycles and we should be ready to go in about a month (meaning, transfer). Looking for a donor is fun! Good luck to you all!!

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ZoeCalifornia,
You have been matched with your donor... that's great! Good luck with your cycle.

Laura

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Hi guys - no baby yet - I am 35 weeks now. If I dont go by the last week of May they will induce me. I feel huge and baby is definetily out of room.

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Hi all! I was just checking in to see what progress you've all made.

It's so great to hear that Fortyfourfive is at 35 weeks now! Why will they induce you at 38 weeks, if you haven't already delivered by then?

I'm just past 29 weeks. I feel as big as a house (and am about 23 pounds heavier than I used to be), so it's hard to believe that I've still got at least a couple of months to go, if everything goes well.

It's good to hear that ZoeCalifornia has found a donor and is only a month away from transfer. I seem to remember that your clinic offers some kind of guarantee that this will work. Is that right?

wantsbabytoo, do let us know how things go at CCRM. They have terrific stats, though an awful lot of twins.

Laura, I think there's a lot of truth in what ZoeCalifornia says about the way you'd find the money if you needed a new car. Still, it's not a decision to be made lightly. I bet you feel even more thankful after all that you've been through that you have one little girl already. Do keep us posted about your thoughts.

Teri

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Hi-I am new here. I am 42 3/4 and just had a donor cycle. My donor eggs were not that great-hard to believe. You put so much faith that this is going to work. They transferred an early blast and a 2BB (4 being the best) and none to freeze. I have a week until my preg test. I was was wondering what clinic Zoe goes to that gives some kind of guarentee-I am in San Diego. I don't know what I'll do if I have to go through-financially or emotionally. It helps to read this and know there are others out there that have similar situations. Good luck on all the deliveries coming up soon. How exciting. Good luck Zoe on your cycle!

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Barbee -- that SUCKS about you donor! How old was she? How could they continue to go on with her if she wasn't stimulating well, etc? I go to the San Diego Fertility Clinic -- they have a success rate of 85%. They thoroughly screen their donors to the point of the ridiculous, which is wonderful. They have a success guarantee program (you must qualify by passing a bulleted list of about 15 items requirements, however). Anyway, I just heard yesterday that my donor passed all her physical exams (she ends up going through hours and hours of physical exams... about 6 visits in all!) and they are waiting for the results of her blood work, some results of which take 3 weeks. They screen for any known disease in the universe. They tell me that a donor can pass all their initial exams, psych tests, screenings, family history tests... and just one small negative and minor result can and has disqualified potential donors. They are very selective, thank goodness.

Well, I've read enough posts to hear that even a "medium" grade egg has made it to a perfect baby, so keep your faith up! If all goes south, however, there seems like the clinic should share some responsibility, or give you a future discount. I would fight it. Lord knows my husband would!

Anyway, I didn't want to make it sound like "money grows on trees," but I wanted to put the HUGE slash into our wallets in more of a positive light. I suppose we're looking at it like "it's all worth it." That being said, if this decision is going to put you in financial ruin, of course a lot of bad can come out of it. We're all assuming everyone has done a lot of weighing out expenses and risks before getting this far in such a life-changing decision. The best thing about money and people with steady incomes is that there are lots of places (even all the clinics so far that I've contacted) that will let you take out a loan so that the lump sum pain goes away and it's just a minor pain monthly.... albeit potentially for a very long time.

Teri-Chan... great to hear you're so big! You sound happy (tho uncomfortable). I know we're all looking forward to the day we can't see our feet and that none of our clothes fit! :)

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Hi Zoe-thanks for replying! I can't believe it-I was just at the San Diego Fertility Clinic yesterday at the Acupunture Spa right around the corner in suite 160, seeing Jeanne-they are wonderful and I know it is extra money but it is totally worth it. I haven't had my pregnancy test yet-still holding out a little hope. The thing was, the donor supposedly was stimulating well-I was told she had a ton of follicles. I don't know what happened. She was a first time donor though, only 25. I am going to have a follow-up with them if this doesn't work out. And if not, I am going to check into your clinic-I actually got their brochure yesterday. Earlier on I had seen them on-line. My clinic is Reproductive partners in La Jolla and both Dr.s are well known-one even got written up in People mag. But I wish I had researched harder. I went there because a friend had successful IVF there. Best of luck on your cycle and keep me posted on how it goes. I am excited for you-we will manage it we decide to do it again, Barbee

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Hi Ladies!
Thanks Teri and Zoe for your support!

We have had a consult with North Hudson IVF (Dr. Smith's center). Call us nuts!(with airline fees I am guessing about $ 25,000) but I feel like we can trust them!!. The other centers near us are so big you cann't talk to them about their DE proticals. Dr. Miller and Dr. Smith I allready trusted (reading there posts for the last 2 1/2 years) and they talked to us! They talked about what they wanted to do and why. It was so refreshing! At my old center, NCCRM, I felt like I was irritating them everytime I asked a question. The search for a donar begins again! One last try!
Laura

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